campylobacter: campy's porn shack (sarcasm)
TITLE: Jack & Sam Dr. Suess Porn
AUTHORS: [livejournal.com profile] shakespherical  & [livejournal.com profile] campylobacter
RATING: R/Mature
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
CROSS-POSTED TO: [livejournal.com profile] sam_and_jack on 15 May 2011, and [livejournal.com profile] crackified_gate on 14 May 2011
CATEGORY: poetry (bad); crack
WORD COUNT: 764
PAIRINGS: Sam/Jack
CHARACTERS: Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter
SUMMARY/PREMISE: [livejournal.com profile] shakespherical  was SO inspired by some gawdawful Sam/Jack fanfiction I rec'ed to her, that she dropped Jack & Sam into "Green Eggs & Ham". I added Daniel, Teal'c, and astrophysics.

I am Jack

I'm a jock
Jack the Jock.
Don't show this to the kids... )
campylobacter: i can haz metaphor? (metaphor)
My last post of the day, after posting my masterpiece fanvid at [livejournal.com profile] daniel_vala  is to recommend this amazing story:

Title: When You Wish Upon a Star
Author: [livejournal.com profile] spiletta42 
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Edward/Bella (Team Edward all the way!)
Rating/Warning(s): Adult, mature content, vampires, cheese
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 89,442

WHY IT MUST BE READ: This story touched my heart. It is full of our hero rescuing the heroine, who obviously cannot live without him, as evidenced by the way she loses the will to live when he's absent. His luv for her is evident by the way he watches her every move and makes sure that she knows he gets jealous if she so much as speaks to another guy, even if it's her father.

I read it all in one sitting and am so swept away by the profound themes of need in their romance.

<3 <3 <3
campylobacter: campy's porn shack (green skull)
Bacon
by campylobacter
I was vandalizing misshapenmuse's Lover100 John/Teyla prompts...

"John, why are you awake at this hour?"

"I've been craving bacon."

Teyla tilted her head in query as John rummaged through the provisions in the cooler.

"It's, uh, let's see," John mused, "thin, fried strips of fatty, salt-cured meat. I don't suppose you had pigs on Athos? Fat, hairless, pink, short. Hooves, curly little tail...?"

"That does not sound appetizing enough to keep one awake."

"Believe me, once you've had a club sandwich, you'll know what I'm talking about."

[end]

YEAH THIS IS TEH QUALITEH COMMENT FIC, PEOPLE. QUALITEH.

Twinkiehenge with Bacon

I really need to finish my Daniel/Vala Exchange story. I don't even eat bacon more than a few times a year.
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
Wednesday lights a match
WEDNESDAY ADDAMS:
Wait. We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours.

Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs.

We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres.

My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts.

The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.”

And for all these reasons. I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

[re-blogged from Tumblr]
campylobacter: Are you going to take off these cuffs, or do I have to do this with my tongue? (tongue)
TITLE - 'Shippers in the Night
AUTHOR - [personal profile] campylobacter
RATING - PG
CATEGORY - filk (song parody)
SPOILERS - The X-Files Movie
SUMMARY - based on "Strangers in the Night"

DEDICATED TO - In memoriam, Frank Sinatra
AUTHOR'S NOTES - Originally written in May 1998 after Folie à Deux aired, revised to conform to Season 9


'Shippers in the night
Dissecting glances
Watching in the night
For varied chances
They'd find UST
Before the night was through

Scully's big blue eyes
So telegenic
Mulder's spooky mind
So schizophrenic
Held those fans enthralled
Who hoped to see them screw

Agents in the night
Abstaining people who would not their love requite
Until the moment that the mytharc sank the show
Little did they know
Lust was not a film away
A cash-producing realm away

Anticipate delight
(Sure, fine, whatever)
Partners at first sight
CC's too clever
Hope that bee won't bite
Those 'shippers in the night

Doodie doobie doo
Doo doo doo dee da
Da da da da da ya ya ya

Open Journal

Friend/de-Friend/Ban me = it's all good.

Fandom's more fun when you're an equal-opportunity pervert (multi-shipper). Set porn goggles to maximum!

Mostly Stargate SG-1 with an intermittent chance of SGA & The X-Files.

BEWARE: My LJ is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

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