campylobacter: are you mocking my hat? (tinhat)
campylobacter ([personal profile] campylobacter) wrote2013-02-19 06:23 am

STARGATE FANFIC: "Y U No Pants" (rated PG/Older Kids)

TITLE: Y U No Pants or, The Emperor's New Kōan
AUTHOR [personal profile] campylobacter
RATING: PG/Older Kids
CATEGORY: Gen; Humor; Missing scene, episode tag
CHARACTERS: Lord Yu, First Prime Oshu
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 7x02 Homecoming

SUMMARY/PREMISE: First Prime Oshu begins to doubt his Lord's godhood. For the SG-1 Allies Alphabet Soup.

Click here to read the story on LiveJournal
Click here to read the story on FanFiction.net
Click here to read the story on Archive of Our Own
"Bring me pants."

"My Lord, you are wearing them."

Lord Yu doesn't bat an eyelash. "I desire the pants with the red and gold dragons."

Yu's First Prime rues that day he was forced to assume the duties of the late lo'taur Jarran; domestic chores added to military command in His Lordship's service have become exhausting. "Are the pants you are wearing with the red and gold dragons not the ones you desire, my Lord?"

"You are clever, Oshu," Yu says as he rises from the sarcophagus. "These are the pants I desire. I am the oldest of the system lords; my wants are simple. Those younglings assume that the voices and memories crowding their minds make them great, make them gods."

"My Lord?"

"I am not great because I am a god, but am a god because I am great. I listen to the only voice in my head: my own."

Oshu begins to wonder if Yu has lost the only other voice he could have heard in his mind: that of the host. Yu's reposes in the sarcophagus have become less effective in restoring mental acuity. "My Lord, you are wise in all things."

"Why then have you not brought me pants?"

Oshu stifles a sigh. Where was an ambush by Ba'al when you needed one?

[end]

y u no pants meme guy
image source
sid: (stargate Lord Yu)

[personal profile] sid 2013-02-19 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Poor Oshu! LOL. Love the punchline!
sid: (stargate Lord Yu)

[personal profile] sid 2013-02-19 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to upload several icons that I never use: Chekhov, Tanith, and now Yu. :-)
sid: (Jack who me?)

[personal profile] sid 2013-02-19 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Just ask Jack. *g*
catsmeow: Close up view of Henry's nose (Default)

[personal profile] catsmeow 2013-02-21 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! Great punch line!

[identity profile] magnavox-23.livejournal.com 2013-02-20 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
LOL @ the punchline!
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (HATERZ)

[identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com 2013-02-20 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Ba'al makes everything better. ;D

[identity profile] magnavox-23.livejournal.com 2013-02-20 05:07 am (UTC)(link)
Ba'als in Yu's pants - even better!
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (kino porn)

[identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com 2013-02-20 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
The visual image your comment has inspired pleases me greatly.

[identity profile] franthewndrhrse.livejournal.com 2013-02-21 07:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I laughed. \o/
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (LOL)

[identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com 2013-02-21 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
:D

\o/

[identity profile] gategremlyn.livejournal.com 2013-02-22 03:41 am (UTC)(link)
Teehee! The poor guy needs a raise.

SG-1 Debrief - Stargate SG-1 Newsletter - Issue 236 - 24/2/2013

[identity profile] livejournal.livejournal.com 2013-02-24 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
User [livejournal.com profile] eilidh17 referenced to your post from SG-1 Debrief - Stargate SG-1 Newsletter - Issue 236 - 24/2/2013 (http://sg1-debrief.livejournal.com/100347.html) saying: [...] by Y U No Pants [...]
ext_1941: (alphabet soup)

[identity profile] sg-fignewton.livejournal.com 2013-03-11 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
::snickers::

I don't really think Yu was going quite that senile, but... heh, poor Oshu!

Thanks so much for contributing, and sorry for taking so VERY long to get down to the letter Y. ::thwaps RL::

[identity profile] hugrey26.livejournal.com 2013-09-23 08:31 am (UTC)(link)
Hello
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