Who comes first?

When you read or write fan fiction, does the order of the people listed in the pairing mean anything?

If it's "Mulder/Skinner", does that mean Mulder's topping?

If it's Gandalf/Theoden, does that mean the King of Rohan's the last to come?

If it's "Dubya/Jacko", does it mean the President outranks the King of Pop?

Does it have anything to do with alphabetical order?

Or gender?

Orc Slash

I knew that I couldn't be the only one on the planet to contemplate the existence of LOTR orc slash, so I Googled and found, among others:

So Wrong
http://elektra.slashcity.tv/orcslash/fiction.html

There you may select stories based on species or character pairing, but one thing disturbs me:

All the orcs have distinctly human genitalia and human sexual responses. Even the fan art depicts orcs with human pornstar anatomy, as if they had been circumcised in infancy by a gentle moyel.

Call me a pervert, but I imagine something entirely different about orcs below the belt, and it ain't pretty.

Anyway, this is an offshoot of discussions I have with my equally geeky spouse about the origins of orcs. We've pored over THE SILMARILLION and the HISTORY OF MIDDLE EARTH volumes to pinpoint their specific provenance, but JRRT isn't very specific beyond that they're perversions of extant creatures, corrupted by Sauron or Melkor or Morgoth.

Geeky fan speculation and references
http://www.thetolkienwiki.org/wiki.cgi?The__Origin__of__Orcs
http://tolkien.cro.net/orcs/origin.html

The movies depict them with mannish, porcine, canine, simian, and even scatological geneologies, depending on whether they're light-tolerant or light-intolerant orcs.

Anyway, I was looking for orc fic that attempts to explain how orcs reproduce, the true depth of their sentience, and whether or not they have souls. Instead, I found a bunch of B&D/S&M fic in orc costumes.

Now this begs the question: is my first foray into writing Middle Earth fanfic going to be orc slash?



Flying Viking Kittens Want to Take You to a Gay Bar
http://www.rathergood.com/gaybar/