campylobacter: campy's porn shack (SNAP!)
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
[Error: unknown template qotd]
RODNEY MCKAY: 135, but I'm shooting for 150 soon. 3.14159265358--
JOHN SHEPPARD: Um, Rodney? We don't care. (I've memorized 50, by the way.)
SAMANTHA CARTER: The Asgard data core once allowed me to enter up to 20 digits of pi to calculate a solar phase shift with random vect--
JACK O'NEILL: Carter, stop. The only pie worth talking about is one I'm about to eat.
DANIEL JACKSON: In Greek it's pronounced π, which is the first letter of περιφέρεια--
JACK: Daniel.
VALA MAL DORAN: General, you simply MUST taste the fruit pie Cameron's mother makes.
CAM MITCHELL: Aw yeah! I'm tellin' ya, hand-picked raspberries make all the difference. 
TEAL'C: How may we obtain this pie?

[ profile] sg_fignewton's got some Samantha Carter genfic recs & graphics in honor of National Pi Day!

And HEY, y'all gotta vote for SG-1's astrophysicist in the [ profile] sf_marchmadness Sweet Sixteen!

If voting once isn't enough, vote for Sam 4 more times in [ profile] holdouttrout 's SUPER AWESOME POLL OF AWESOME. :D

More pictures behind the cut... )
campylobacter: ::iz ded:: (iz-ded)
Originally posted by [ profile] dwg
at I like your old stuff better than your new stuff.
LiveJournal is broken
Release 88: Livejournal is Broken

15 songs + links to relevant Release 88 info
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
OMG the fanboy comments on reddit, y'all. KML

"I'd go gay for Michael Shanks." "He's all up in Dr. Lam."

"And when they show the city where the O'Neill departs from before Sam blows it up? As an architecture student, that city still gives me erections to this day. The bottom line is the Asgard are the shit."

"The Ori only used belief to enhance their power. Without belief and worship, they were still pretty damn powerful. Freddy Kreuger virtually relied on it."


"...if ever there was a true god in this universe, it was Hammond of Texas. Mr. motherfuckin' Clean himself. Babyhead Hammond. First of his Name. Lord of Undermountain. Omega Cue-ball. There is none higher."

"hillary clinton, mit romney, elijah wood and samuel jackson in....?"
campylobacter: In most cultures, wanking is not done in public. (wank)
foreverAlone: Have taken shower. Time for nap!

me: Penis. Vagina. Stargate.

AttentionWhore: My butt hurts.

me: Vagina. Stargate. Vagina.

ADHD: ˆ◡ˆ <3 *** hi! HI! HI!!!!!!! *** :) 
ADHD: Got to go! Bye everyone!!!! ˆ◡ˆ <3 ***

me: bewbs. Farscape. Claudia Black.

AttentionWhore: I said my butt hurts. Y is every1 ignoring meeee???!!!

clueless: OK, okay... (laughing out loud) so I went outside to check the mail and And AND! OH MY GOSH I saw this thing (evil grin) but it... [link to TweetLonger]

noPersonality: This is adorable! [link to time-wasting YouTube vid]
noPersonality: You are destined to avoid sandwiches today. #Pisces @horoscope RT

me: Cock! [link to cock] Stargate!

noPersonality: Watching "Pointless Hollywood Crap" with 6 others @GetGlue

foreverAlone: That was a great nap. It's raining!

me: Pussy! [link to picture] LOL it's my cat hahaha #rickRoll

noPersonality: #FF Friday Follow these Tweeps! @name @username @friend @someone @person @foreverAlone @pseud @someoneYouHate

privilegedWhiner: I hate the stupid n00bs in my fandom. I am better than they are. GTFO n00bz

me: rant LiveJournalFail rant rant

noPersonality: Breaking news! [link to current event]

privilegedWhiner: If I see 1 more RT of #currentEvent I'm gonna pitch a tantrum.

AttentionWhore: @privilegedWhiner I knew about #currentEvent before it got popular.

me: troll #currentEvent trollololol [link to Rick Roll]

foreverAlone: Ok, time for bed! See ya later! Hope it's stopped raining tmrw.

AttentionWhore: I am so bored right now.

me: i can haz penis? [link to penis] #vagina #Stargate
campylobacter: are you mocking my hat? (tinhat)

To my brother, I bequeath my porn collection.

The rest of you can have my pants.

[via David Pogue's Twitter rec "The funniest Rapture video you'll see all day!"]
campylobacter: In most cultures, wanking is not done in public. (wank)
Dear sock puppet,

I'm curious to know why you've been trolling [ profile] spiletta42  for years.

Your latest stunt is so pathetic, it'd be Fandom-Wank amusing if it weren't so repetitive, disruptive, destructive & batfuck insane.
  1. You opened an account named [ profile] izzy96  on 12 May 2011.
  2. You opened an account named [ profile] morgan661  on 13 May 2011.
  3. You Photoshopped a fake screengrab of [ profile] stop_plagiarism , inserting moderator [ profile] hoppytoad79 's icon and username into a baseless accusation of [ profile] spiletta42 stealing a story from, when it's probably either one of your old socks or one of her pseudonyms. (The actual plagiarist is YOU.)
  4. As [ profile] izzy96 , you posted a link of your "artwork" to [ profile] gategirlsdaily  in 2 entries, which I saw immediately because I follow that comm, and which were so off-topic, they got deleted before they were an hour old. (my screengrabs: "Urgent Signal Boost" & "Amanda Tapping Naked") 
  5. You posted the same thing titled "Untitled Buffy/Spike Fic, NC-17" to [ profile] buffy_fanfic , using a bait-and-switch tactic. This makes you credible how? (screengrab)
  6. Ditto an entry titled "THIS IS AWESOME" to [ profile] het_reccers  (screengrab)
  7. And your final mistake, posting a fake moderator entry titled "Mod Post, Please Read" to [ profile] femme_fic , which didn't fool anybody, because [ profile] goldjadeocean remembers the "Plagiarism-claiming hacking troll in the dungeon?" incident from 11 Nov 2008 reported by [ profile] misscam . Using [ profile] morgan661  to leave socktastic comments was also a dead giveaway.
  8. UPDATE sockpuppet [ profile] izzy96  posted "Fic Warnings!" (trigger complaint) at [ profile] sam_and_jack  (screengrab)
  9. UPDATE sockpuppet [ profile] izzy96  posted a "Warning!" against gay porn at [ profile] scarecrow_king  (screengrab)
  10. UPDATE [ profile] irony_rocks  of [ profile] het_reccers posted "Admin Post - Anti-gay posts BANNED"
  11. UPDATE [ profile] spiletta42  answers the allegations and takes a stand against your bullying.
  12. UPDATE sockpuppet [ profile] izzy96  has added [ profile] sj_everyday  to its Communities list, so stay tuned?
  13. UPDATE 18 May: troll creates account  [ profile] endspam  to harass [ profile] lolmac  & other LJ members
"Spiletta42 is 100 percent innocent" according to moderator [ profile] pomkeygeekange in [ profile] stop_plagiarism.

So why stir shit again, 3 years later? Don't you have anything better to do than grudge-wank?

PS: How did I find out where else you'd posted your grudge-wank against [ profile] spiletta42 ? Your sockpuppet [ profile] izzy96  listed the comms you trolled in its user profile.

PPS: Your anonymous comment's IP addresses:, (Proxy: Suspected network sharing device)
campylobacter: campy's porn shack (sarcasm)
TITLE: Jack & Sam Dr. Suess Porn
AUTHORS: [ profile] shakespherical  & [ profile] campylobacter
RATING: R/Mature
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
CROSS-POSTED TO: [ profile] sam_and_jack on 15 May 2011, and [ profile] crackified_gate on 14 May 2011
CATEGORY: poetry (bad); crack
CHARACTERS: Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter
SUMMARY/PREMISE: [ profile] shakespherical  was SO inspired by some gawdawful Sam/Jack fanfiction I rec'ed to her, that she dropped Jack & Sam into "Green Eggs & Ham". I added Daniel, Teal'c, and astrophysics.

I am Jack

I'm a jock
Jack the Jock.
Don't show this to the kids... )
campylobacter: campy's porn shack (kino porn)
Pornography is like the Cheetah

March 16, 2011, Englewood, Colorado

After 42 years of providing mental health care services to children and families in the Denver community, Beacon Youth and Family Center will close its doors and cease operation on April 30, 2011.

RIP, Beacon Center. You will be missed. not
campylobacter: i can haz metaphor? (metaphor)
My last post of the day, after posting my masterpiece fanvid at [ profile] daniel_vala  is to recommend this amazing story:

Title: When You Wish Upon a Star
Author: [ profile] spiletta42 
Fandom: Twilight
Pairing: Edward/Bella (Team Edward all the way!)
Rating/Warning(s): Adult, mature content, vampires, cheese
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 89,442

WHY IT MUST BE READ: This story touched my heart. It is full of our hero rescuing the heroine, who obviously cannot live without him, as evidenced by the way she loses the will to live when he's absent. His luv for her is evident by the way he watches her every move and makes sure that she knows he gets jealous if she so much as speaks to another guy, even if it's her father.

I read it all in one sitting and am so swept away by the profound themes of need in their romance.

<3 <3 <3
campylobacter: Must. Not. Look. At cleavage. (cleavage)

What's your favorite snack for a rainy afternoon?

View 1167 Answers

SG-1 is my favorite food! Thanks to shakespherical for collaborating on this, and FUCK YOU LJ for erasing it when I was almost done so I had to reconstruct hours of work.

Pictures of SG-1 and their favorites eats... )
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Submitted By [info]inalovesmaonyan

<input ... > View 2490 Answers

The Stargate SG-1 Picspam Version (because they're SPECIAL)

Why didn't my SG-1 peeps think of this? )
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
Wednesday lights a match
Wait. We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours.

Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs.

We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d’oeuvres.

My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts.

The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, “Do not trust the pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.”

And for all these reasons. I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

[re-blogged from Tumblr]
campylobacter: In most cultures, wanking is not done in public. (wank)
Yes, coming this Fall to NBC's Monday night lineup (which I expect to be pre-empted by NFL overtimes).

[ profile] magnavox_23  started it in this spoilery thread:
"Daniel & Vala in San Fran? I smell a spin off! :D"

[ profile] sg_wonderland  got the ball rolling:

From the NBC Press Office:
NBC jumps back into the sitcom business in a big way with this gem from a genre not necessarily known for their comedy - science fiction.
Michael Shanks reprises his Stargate SG-1 role as Dr. Daniel Jackson, a globe trotting archaeologist who is trying to remain anonymous as the government decide when and how to declassify the Air Force's super-secret space travel program. Part of the price for his escape to the sunnier confines of San Francisco was that he agreed to take charge of feisty alien Vala Mal Doran, played by the irrepressible Claudia Black.

Together, the two of them try to live normal lives in a friendly downtown neighborhood without anyone finding out that one of them is an alien and the other had multiple deaths under his belt.

Coming this fall to Monday nights!
Read more completey bonkers Gatecrack... )
campylobacter: campy's porn shack (Default)
Ganked from [ profile] mslogica who posted hers months ago.

1. Write your username.
2. Write your 2 favourite bands/groups of the moment.
3. Write something you ♥, AKA lemme see your heart.
4. Write the name of your favourite person of all time.
5. Write the name of your recent favoured person.
6. Tag 6 people to do this meme.

i fucking hate clowns srsly
campylobacter: i can haz metaphor? (metaphor)
Yesterday I was watching Season 9's "The Powers That Be", and the snarky commentary on the DVD was frelling hilarious, including the comments over this scene:

Daniel encourages Vala
VALA: Each one is getting harder. Each time it takes longer, and they keep coming...

DANIEL: You have to keep trying.

It's hard out here for a pimp.

Like I need another pornographic plotbunny:
Dr. Daniel Jackson, Intergalactic Supafly
campylobacter: Geek Sexy Daniel (geek-sexy)
It has been noted that there still aren't enough girls becoming scientists to balance the disparity of women to men in science occupations. One cannot help but speculate whether having someone who looks like Michael Shanks or Amanda Tapping narrate a series of science-based instructional videos would encourage more youngsters to become scientists...

Is it just me, or is it the way he flutters his eyelashes that makes me wanna take a look at hyperspace equations?
campylobacter: my sweet (Qetesh)
Wormhole kitteh in ur event horizon
vote me some cheezburgers!

Stargate geeks reprAzent! (Iz NOT my kitty, BTW.)
campylobacter: are you mocking my hat? (tinhat)
I bought a 250GB FireWire/USB portable hard drive for backing up all my porn (you know, fanfic, photos of bare arms on Stargate, fanvids, raunchy hip hop music...) and I wanted it to be compatible for both Windoze and my Macs.
iomega eGo Portable hard drive
The iomega eGo Portable mounted just fine on my iMac, but none of the Windoze laptops recognized it... until I had my iMac format it for MSDOS.

Now the drive will let any of my computers mount it!

So whaddya think I named her?

The answer... )

Open Journal

Friend/de-Friend/Ban me = it's all good.

Fandom's more fun when you're an equal-opportunity pervert (multi-shipper). Set porn goggles to maximum!

Mostly Stargate SG-1 with an intermittent chance of SGA & The X-Files.


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