campy's porn shack

TITLE: Ready When You Get Back [subtitle V is for VAH-fels]
SERIES: Part 2 of 3 for "Three Waitresses Daniel Never Met"
BETA-READER: oceania
CHARACTERS: Daniel Jackson, Nick Ballard, Oma Desala
RATING: G/K/FRC (all ages)
CATEGORY/GENRE: Angst; Time Travel Alphabet Soup; Episode Related

TIMELINE/SPOILERS: 2x04 "The Gamekeeper"; 3x21 "The Crystal Skull"; 8x18 "Threads"
ARCHIVE: send me a URL if you archive this so I can pimp your site
WORD COUNT: 1131

SUMMARY/SYNOPSIS/PREMISE: What if you could place a breakfast order 30 years into the future? "My grandfather brought me here after my parents' funeral. I had waffles."

NOTES: You really, really need to be familiar with "Threads", but I've listed the references/easter eggs at the end just in case you need a kick in the memory.

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The bell over the door makes a musical ring as he and his grandfather enter. Daniel hasn't eaten much of anything in two days, and is surprised when his mouth waters at the sweet scent of maple syrup. The aroma is the same as when his parents took him to a Rhode Island sugarhouse over a year ago, when the snow was beginning to melt.

 

 

The sign on the hostess podium says, "Please SEAT YOURSELF". A short, blonde, curly-haired waitress walks by with a plate of waffles and fruit. His grandfather spots an empty booth, and they each slide into a vinyl-covered bench the color of pea soup.

"H-how do you say 'waffles' in Nederlands, Grampa?"

"Nick."

( Read more... )

TITLE: Muh Jell-O
SERIES: Part 1 of 3 for "Three Waitresses Daniel Never Met"
AUTHOR: campylobacter
RATING: General/All Audiences
WARNING: none apply
CATEGORY: episode tag; humor; Gen
PAIRINGS: none
WORD COUNT: 360
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
CHARACTERS: Daniel Jackson, the waitress from "Holiday"
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 2x17 "Holiday
SUMMARY/PREMISE: That awkward feeling when you walk into the wrong diner...

NOTES: Inspired by magnavox_23's wallpaper "Fred & Machello's Big Day Out!" for the Season Two Challenge at Event Horizons

Click here to read the story on LJ
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( Click here to read the story... )

Part 2: "Ready When You Get Back"

Originally posted by anna_sg1 at 1.

TITLE: The Second First Not Date
AUTHOR campylobacter
RATING: PG-13/Teens
CATEGORY: Missing scene, episode tag
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
CHARACTERS: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran, Cameron Mitchell, Tomin
WORD COUNT: 1661
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 10x08 'Memento Mori; 8x18 'Threads'; The Ark of Truth 

 

SUMMARY/PREMISE: Daniel & Vala's Not Date from 'Memento Mori', written on Groundhog Day, time loop style. For the Daniel/Vala Month of Love 2013 at LiveJournal.

• Click here to read the story on LJ
• Click here to read the story on FFN
• Click here to read the story on AO3

The waiter has finally left, and now it's just Daniel and Vala. She's exquisite sitting there across from him, her face aglow in the candlelight. He can't stop himself from wanting her to finally hear how he feels: "Listen—"

She leans forward just as he does, eager to tell him something. "Ah—"

Their words collide and they instantly stop, arresting a moment heavy with anticipation. He loves to hear her speak (even when she's badgering him to irritation) but he can't be sure whether what she has to say will derail his train of thought. She's rediscovered who she was before becoming a con artist and a Goa'uld host and a woman trapped in a marriage of convenience by forced pregnancy — perhaps a village lass who led a simple life?

"Oh," she breathes, seeming to realize the gravity of what he needs to say.

"Uh, lemme start," he offers, pointing to himself. If he doesn't say it now, he won't ever be able to say it.

( Read more... )

TITLE: New Life in New Dakara 1/1
AUTHOR: campylobacter
BETA-READERS: shakespherical, magnavox_23
RATING: PG/Kids
WARNING: so sugary, will cause instant tooth decay
CATEGORY: fluff, babyfic
WORD COUNT: 388
CHARACTERS: Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: post-Continuum
ALTERNATE ARCHIVE: at AO3
SUMMARY/PREMISE: That feeling you get when you wake up thinking someone you love is gone, but it was just a bad dream. Written for the daniel_vala 2012 Month of Love.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm really wrecked over what happened to Dakara in 10x7 Counterstrike, so I wanna see it rebuilt. (There's also a mediocre illustrative photo manip from a much better screengrab snurched from the MS Screen Cap Site by dankriss. The inspiration for the vignette came from an article about co-sleeping & bed-sharing.)

( Click here to read the story... )

TITLE: Counting the Steps Back to Safe, Chapter 2/3 "Even When We're Unknowing"
AUTHOR: campylobacter
BETA READER: shakespherical
RATING: PG-13/Teens
WARNING: no pr0nz :(
CATEGORY: angst, UST; missing scene
WORD COUNT: 1306
CHARACTERS: Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson, Cameron Mitchell, Samantha Carter, Teal'c
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: Memento Mori missing scene
PROMPTS: for natalia5345 via the dv_exchange 2011 Fruitcake Exchange "Perfume & Promises" by Idina Menzel & "I'm pretty open to anything (especially anything angst!)"
SUMMARY/PREMISE: "I may not remember everything right now, but I do remember how I felt about you."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a pinch-hit fill, so I didn't have time to include all 4 song prompts.

( Read Chapter 2 "Even When We're Unknowing" )

Read Chapter 1 "Capture & Bottle It"
Read Chapter 3 "They Tear You Away"

TITLE: Solitudes Redux 1/1
AUTHOR: campylobacter
PAIRING: Jack/Daniel
RATING: R/Mature/FRT (language, sexual subject matter)
CATEGORY/GENRE: AU, episode-related; action/adventure, hurt/comfort
WORD COUNT: 3449
CHARACTERS: Jack O'Neill, Daniel Jackson; Teal'c, Samantha Carter
TIMELINE/SPOILERS: 1x18 "Solitudes"
PROMPTS: jd_ficathon for elder_bonnie A snow planet, Daniel-whump, separated and frozen, no higher than soft R, no character death

SUMMARY/SYNOPSIS/PREMISE: What if Daniel had been stranded in Antarctica with Jack in 1x18 'Solitudes'?

NOTES: Thought this'd be easy dialog-switching, but then I started considering how events would've truly diverged in a chaos-theory multiverse sort of way. Brief reference to Jack/Sara, Daniel/Sha're; surreal UST reference to Sam/Jack, Teal'c/Jack. (Dear Brad Wright: wormholes are not telephone signals kthxbai.)


( Read more... )

Title: Faulty System
Author: campylobacter
Beta-Reader: shakespherical (who prevented my Zelenka from sounding like Pavel Chekov)
Fandoms: Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis
Word count: 1333
Rating/Warning: Teens/PG-13 (sexual content)
Timeline: immediately after last scene of SG-1 10x03 "Pegasus Project"
Prompt: Daniel, Vala, Zelenka; "faulty system" for the sg1friendathon
Category: Gen; episode tag to SG-1 10x3 "Pegasus Project"/missing scene prior to SGA 5x10 "First Contact";
Premise: Daniel Jackson, Vala Mal Doran & Radek Zelenka discover something awkward & unexpected in the Atlantis holographic archives.

Author's Note: My attempt to explain why Daniel changed his glasses in SG-1 10x08 "Memento Mori", and why Daniel was so nonchalant with Rodney about Janus's lovers in SGA 5x10 "First Contact".

( Read "Faulty System"... )

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TITLE: "Forward Distortion: The Day We Have"
AUTHOR: campylobacter
EDITORS: hummingfly67 , shakespherical
STORY & CANON CONSULTANTS: cleothemuse , lc59
FRENCH PROOFREADER: lusitanianotter
BANNER & WALLPAPER MANIPS: eilidh17 , csichick-2
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
PAIRINGS: Daniel/Vala (other pairings require het or slash goggles, available for purchase at any fine department store)
RATING: NC-17/Adult (violence; language; sexual situations; individual chapters specify content ratings)
STATUS: serialized
SPOILERS: SG-1 (Crusade, Flesh and Blood, Shell Game {audio book}, Unending, Ark of Truth) SGA (First Contact/The Lost Tribe)
TIMELINE: post-SGU "Air" (Col. Carter commands the USS Hammond.)
ARCHIVE: Permission granted; drop me a URL if, for some reason, you aren't afraid to archive it -- I'll link to it from my blog.
CATEGORY/GENRE: Action/Adventure, Team; Romance, Het, First Time
WORD COUNT: 20,000+

PREMISE/SUMMARY: The former team members of SG-1 reunite on Col. Samantha Carter's USS Hammond to bring the Ark of Truth to a remote planet off the Stargate network where a renegade Prior is rumored to enslave the population in the production of kassa. Along the way, Sam's tests on the Ark cause disturbing side effects involving dreams of events that Teal'c won't corroborate. And of course once SG-1 reaches the planet, Vala confronts someone from her past, while Daniel must helplessly watch as things don't go according to plan...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Originally inspired by the prompt "Sometimes I think to myself, 'This is it... This is going to be the day we have a nice, sane, boring mission.'" at one_prompt, but it grew beyond the deadline and is now big enough for the 2011 Big Bang of stargate-summer / stargate_summer . Although this story includes the villain & spoilers for the Stargate SG-1 audio book "Shell Game" and the Stargate Atlantis episodes "First Contact/The Lost Tribe", you need not have heard/seen them to follow the plot.

( Read the Prologue... )

"Big Mistake Part 2: Survival by Symbiont"
AUTHOR: campylobacter 
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
PAIRINGS: Daniel/Vala (reference to Daniel/Sha're in Parts 2 & 3)
CHARACTERS: (this part) Vala Mal Doran, a Tok'ra, Daniel Jackson, Lindsey Novak, George Hammond, Sha're
RATING: (this part) PG-13/Teens (see warnings)
WARNINGS: mild triggers for references to torture, execution, extreme medical injury
STATUS: complete
TIMELINE/SPOILERS: Vala backstory; 8x12 Prometheus Unbound, 9x19 Crusade, 10x20 Unending
ARCHIVE: Permission granted; drop me a URL if, for some reason, you aren't afraid to archive it -- I'll link to it from my blog.
CATEGORY/GENRE: Angst, darkfic, missing scenes
SERIES: "Big Mistake" for one_prompt "I think we made a big mistake"
WORD COUNT: 714/1897
SUMMARY: Missing scenes from Crusade, Prometheus Unbound, and Unending, connected by a subject women don't speak of in public.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This part's much less triggery (unless techno-jargon squicks you) and borderline Gen. Previous: Chapter 1: Corned Piggot( Read Part 2 "Survival by Symbiont"... )