My Seester, She Ees Virgeen
Feb. 25th, 2004 06:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
campylobacterMY SEESTER, SHE EES VIRGEEN
by campylobacter
RATING - PG-13 (debauchery)
CATEGORY - V, H (vignette, humor)
SPOILERS - El Mundo Gira
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - Bill Junior does Mardi Gras south of the border.
DATE - 24 February 2004
SIZE - 3k / 333 words
DISCLAIMER - Throw me some beads, Mr. Carter!
AUTHOR'S NOTE - WhyIncision challenge items: blindfold, back seat
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Gringos call it tee-uh-WAHN-nuh. Locals call it tee-HWAN-nah.
Border dwellers call it tee-jay.
I call it Hell.
And what do you call Tijuana the weekend before Lent?
Aunt Jane on acid -- and I'm telling you, I'm never going there
again. Only time I went, it was after boot camp, me and the
guys.
Gearhead points out this Mexican boy hanging on a sign post,
barefoot, wearing a grungy cowboy hat, who says "My seester, she
ees virgeen," to every Anglo who walks past. I start joking
that the muchacho sells his sister's virginity three or four
times a night, and his sister is really his mother.
Several bottles of tequila later, we stagger back to the Datsun.
Gearhead dry heaves every ten minutes, Lumpy can't drive stick,
and I'm seeing double. Gearhead drops the keys somewhere on his
garbage-covered floorboards. I claim the back seat and wait for
Mexico to stop spinning. Lumpy starts dancing outside the car
to a distant mariachi band.
Muchacho passes by to pimp his sister's virtue. Lumpy sends him
for coffee. Muchacho returns with horchata, a handful of beads,
and a Chica Bonita.
"Beeg surprise, Meester. Thees my seester. Cover you eyes."
Who, me? Si, Meester. Pick my pocket, and I'll break you in
half, punk. No, ees nice surprise, you will like very much.
Yeah, well, I let them blindfold me and unzip my pants. It is a
nice surprise. She smells good. The second time, in the middle
of it, I lift the blindfold. It isn't her mouth doing el
Chupacabra on me, but Lumpy's.
Lumpy just misses returning to Base with a black eye. (He gets
shipped out to Pensacola, and I never see him again.)
I get back home, and Mom asks if I enjoyed TJ. Missy and
Charlie fight over the beads.
Dana keeps asking why I have a blindfold tied to my duffel bag.
Little punk.
[end]
. . .
Do you ever miss your siblings?
by campylobacter
RATING - PG-13 (debauchery)
CATEGORY - V, H (vignette, humor)
SPOILERS - El Mundo Gira
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - Bill Junior does Mardi Gras south of the border.
DATE - 24 February 2004
SIZE - 3k / 333 words
DISCLAIMER - Throw me some beads, Mr. Carter!
AUTHOR'S NOTE - WhyIncision challenge items: blindfold, back seat
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Gringos call it tee-uh-WAHN-nuh. Locals call it tee-HWAN-nah.
Border dwellers call it tee-jay.
I call it Hell.
And what do you call Tijuana the weekend before Lent?
Aunt Jane on acid -- and I'm telling you, I'm never going there
again. Only time I went, it was after boot camp, me and the
guys.
Gearhead points out this Mexican boy hanging on a sign post,
barefoot, wearing a grungy cowboy hat, who says "My seester, she
ees virgeen," to every Anglo who walks past. I start joking
that the muchacho sells his sister's virginity three or four
times a night, and his sister is really his mother.
Several bottles of tequila later, we stagger back to the Datsun.
Gearhead dry heaves every ten minutes, Lumpy can't drive stick,
and I'm seeing double. Gearhead drops the keys somewhere on his
garbage-covered floorboards. I claim the back seat and wait for
Mexico to stop spinning. Lumpy starts dancing outside the car
to a distant mariachi band.
Muchacho passes by to pimp his sister's virtue. Lumpy sends him
for coffee. Muchacho returns with horchata, a handful of beads,
and a Chica Bonita.
"Beeg surprise, Meester. Thees my seester. Cover you eyes."
Who, me? Si, Meester. Pick my pocket, and I'll break you in
half, punk. No, ees nice surprise, you will like very much.
Yeah, well, I let them blindfold me and unzip my pants. It is a
nice surprise. She smells good. The second time, in the middle
of it, I lift the blindfold. It isn't her mouth doing el
Chupacabra on me, but Lumpy's.
Lumpy just misses returning to Base with a black eye. (He gets
shipped out to Pensacola, and I never see him again.)
I get back home, and Mom asks if I enjoyed TJ. Missy and
Charlie fight over the beads.
Dana keeps asking why I have a blindfold tied to my duffel bag.
Little punk.
[end]
. . .
Do you ever miss your siblings?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-26 07:19 pm (UTC)YOU ROCK.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-27 05:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-29 02:28 am (UTC)Do we ever get any Bill Jr. fic from that time period?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-29 02:31 am (UTC)And the "Crucified Toad". Uh, er...
I have seven more paragraphs to go, roughly. It's all outlined. It just needs the finishing touch of weirdness.