BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: Your villains are robot suits?

[campylobacter]

First of all, BSG fans, I'm not making fun of your fandom. I'm merely ignorant of it, and am taking advantage of this precious period of ignorance before I read the Wikipedia entry and spoilerwhore myself into the downlow.

There's an LJ community called strangefandom where your ignorance is a VALUED THING. Non-fans are asked to write what they think a TV show/movie/fandom is about based on watching FANVIDS. SO wacky and cracktastic! They haven't done BSG yet, but they have done Stargate SG-1 and oh my snakes it's hilarious! Also Twin Peaks and Farscape.

Here's my impression of Battlestar Galactica.

All I knew about BSG before I watched an episode:

There was a show in the 70s or 80s by the same name, it's science fiction, and Starbuck got a sex change. And the new BSG invented "frak", which is a great euphemism for FUCK. (Almost as good as Farscape's "frell".)

Here's what this fandom is about according to the partial episode I saw a year ago:

There are villains called Xylons which are a cross between Dr. Who Daleks + the robot from Lost in Space. Robots are EVIL -- much badder than ninjas, pirates, zombies, or vampires in this universe.

There's a sexy Asian chick with emotional problems. I have no idea why the Asian chick thinks she's a Xylon because she doesn't wear a robot suit but they put her in jail and she has a bad temper. Maybe because she wants a badass Xylon suit? I want to have sex with her.

I think everybody lives on a spaceship (except the Xylons), but there were scenes on a planet that's not Earth but they want it to be Earth? But it has a lot of Xylon robot suits on it. I got confused about that.

There's a hot older chick with no hair who may be going through chemotherapy. The actress who plays her is really compelling. I think she's their President, or the wife of their President? Why do people who live in a spaceship need a president? Don't they need a captain instead?

There are some guys who say frak a lot and seem to be in a competition over who has //can act like// the biggest dick.

I think I saw the blonde who's supposed to be Starbuck but I'm not totally sure because she didn't have many scenes in the episode.

Then there's a blonde in skimpy clothing who's badass and conniving but they don't kick her off the ship even though she's obviously evil? Huh?

Everything is gritty and dark and no one seems to be having a good time. I hope they find a home, because I want these pretty, pretty people to be happy.