campylobacter: are you mocking my hat? (tinhat)
[personal profile] campylobacter
I don't read rapefic; it's not my cup o' tea. However, I never thought I'd ever write rape-crack hat porn, let alone make a fotostory of episode screencaps for it.

I kinda have to blame cleothemuse for all of this; she mentioned to me that she'd accepted a fic challenge at Area 52, so I went there and took a look at all the challenges and saw this:
screenshot of original request
I ASKED IF SOMEONE TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT NEW GROUND WHERE DANIAL GETS CAPTURED BY RIGAR AND DID NOT ESCAPE AND HE TAKES HIM TO HIS HEADQUARTERS AND RAPES HIM FOR SIX MONTHS BEFORE SG-1 RESCUES HIM. WILL ANYONE WRITE THIS FOR ME PLEASE I ASKED A YEAR AGO.
Okay...

Because it's Labor Day weekend in the US, I flailed around in GIMP until this monstrosity was born. There are 9 pages total. Enjoy. (BTW, there's established Jack/Daniel.)

You can experience it several ways:
Rigar 1-9 at deviantArt

my Rigar album in my LJ Scrapbook

Or right here, if your 'Net connection can handle loading the file sizes.

Page 1
Page 1

Page 2
page 2

Page 3
page 3

Page 4
page 4

Page 5
page 5

Page 6
page 6

Page 7
page 7

Page 8
page 8

Page 9
page 9

And if you're not familiar with the Neil Sedaka tune, here it is in Scopitone on YouTube.
 

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 10:38 pm (UTC)
green_grrl: (SG1_JDWhat)
From: [personal profile] green_grrl
I AM UTTERLY AWED BY THE CRACKTASTICNESS OF THIS POST! I am so awed I'm not even ashamed to love it! :DDD

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magnavox-23.livejournal.com
OMFGLOLWUT? Haha. I have no idea who Neil Sedaka is and please please tell me that picture of Rigar on page 7 is in someway photoshopped, as that is the most disturbing facial expression I have ever seen!

I'm gonna go rock back and forth in that corner over there...

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 02:59 am (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (tinhat)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
Neil Sedaka in Scopitone!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-V03f74P4_o

Should I add stronger trigger warnings to this thing?

Rigar's eyeballs are indeed manipped; I can't take credit for the mouth, though.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] magnavox-23.livejournal.com
I think your title pretty much sums it up, no more warning needed me thinks. :P

Neil Sedaka is....yeah... :P

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shakespherical.livejournal.com
Hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Love the Daniel in the raspberry beret. Would make a great icon for WTF?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 03:06 am (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (geek-sexy)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
Thanks!

Daniel looks so dejected in that beret -- I keep imagining Rigar's thug Moocholus knitting furiously to keep up with the demand for more hats...

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 03:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleothemuse.livejournal.com
HOLYFUCKIN'CRAPILOVETHESTUFFYOU'RESMOKING!

*iz ded*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 03:31 am (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (iz-ded)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
I'm so relieved! :-D

I was actually bracing for flames and being ostracized, given that
A.) I couldn't fit in Teal'c, and
B.) someone might think I was bein' SRS BZNS.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 06:28 am (UTC)
sid: (Daniel lipbite)
From: [personal profile] sid
I don't think I'm ever going to recover.

From the Scopitone, that is! Your fotostory on the other hand was perfectly delightful! :-D (Especially Daniel's happy place. *sighs*)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 06:46 am (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (geek-sexy)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
LOL thanks!

Oh dear gawd, when [livejournal.com profile] shakespherical sent me that Sedaka link, I swore that I'd never be able to surpass the crackiness of that rickety trellis dance routine featuring blonde clones and the humongous calendar to track a woman's monthly cycle.

Any incarnation of Jack is the Happy Place that wipes my brain of Teh Horror. :-D

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 07:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eilidh17.livejournal.com
LMAO! Feb and Valentines day will never be the same for after this jaunt down craziness avenue! Your inventiveness knows no boundaries :)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 06:45 pm (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (tinhat)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'll be thinking of you on February 14. ;-D

I'm so glad the peeps on my FList understand crack.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-07 11:07 pm (UTC)
ext_6477: (Default)
From: [identity profile] sg-wonderland.livejournal.com
I'm forever grateful my desk chair has arms cause otherwise, I would have landed on the floor...rather abruptly.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-02-07 04:55 pm (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (tinhat)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
::gasp:: I AM ASHAME. I didn't reply to you 4 months ago when you left the comment? Augh!

Anyway, I'm delighted you found this "rape" fotostory fall-off-the-chair-worthy. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2011-02-07 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bassair.livejournal.com
Duuuuuuuuuuude, I'm lol'ing like crazy XD

That's brilliant ♥

(no subject)

Date: 2011-02-07 04:52 pm (UTC)
ext_391411: There is a god sitting here with wet fingers. (iz-ded)
From: [identity profile] campylobacter.livejournal.com
Yay! So glad it made you laugh!

It was a cracky, silly idea that got OUT OF CONTROL.

Open Journal

Friend/de-Friend/Ban me = it's all good.

Fandom's more fun when you're an equal-opportunity pervert (multi-shipper). Set porn goggles to maximum!

Mostly Stargate SG-1 with an intermittent chance of SGA & The X-Files.

BEWARE: My LJ is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.

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