pseudo writer's block

[campylobacter]

I usually write bizarre, awful VH (Vignette, Humor) stories for the XF fandom, but I've had a "longer" (approx. 5500 words) story brewing for over a year, about Scully showing Mulder her secret hideout.

The idea for the fic arose from a visit to the Previous eXcursions website, an archive (no longer active) of pre-Pilot stories. There are stories about:

- Mulder, BSU Wonder Boy
- Mulder and Scully, sickeningly cute five-year-olds
- Phoebe Green, college girlfriend from hell
- Diana Fowley, the reason for the Ring
- Skinner in 'Nam
- Bill Mulder beating the shit out of his son
- Dana Sue, high schooler in a summer romance with a handsome stranger named Fox

But for all the cliches, there are unexpected offerings: Deep Throat backstory fic, Samantha POV stories, early Lone Gunmen...

Anyway, my story falls into the slot between sickeningly cute children and horny teens, and tries to hew to canon. It's a challenge; although it's 95% finished and outlined completely, I'm experiencing pseudo-writer's block. You see, I'm being lazy because I'm scared.

I'm scared to finish the story because it might be, um, GOOD. I'm used to thinking of myself as a fringe author who writes fic that only five people will ever read. I'm a self-proclaimed maverick. I'm an impresario who hypes an iconoclast persona. I'm a hoax who hoodwinks myself.

I prefer to read short stories, because at their finest, they're like little clockworks. I prefer to write short fiction, because winding up little clocks is just so fun. Writing longer fic, for me, should be similar to building a grandfather clock. It's a clockwork, on a larger scale:

• Events mirror internal conflict.


• Motifs run parallel between plot and subplot.


• The opening theme is bookended in the ending theme.


• The character arc intersects the mytharc.


• Symbols shift meaning, and return to the literal.


• Loose plot ends are given different closure from unanswered questions.

At this point, you're probably laughing at me for my angst over what is commercially still considered a "short" story (under 7500 words), but it's a big deal! Why shouldn't a 5500-word story be as tightly constructed as a drabble? Why shouldn't each word in a novel be as carefully weighted as a word in a precis?

Yeah, the poor story has had the living fark edited out of it. There's far more Show than Tell. And this is even before I let a beta reader get a hold of it.

Anyway, if you've made it this far, I apologize for boring you. I promise to return to my regularly scheduled, non-serious, vapid LJ posts the next time I get around to updating this thing.

Comments

[prillalar]

At this point, you're probably laughing at me for my angst over what is commercially still considered a "short" story (under 7500 words), but it's a big deal! Why shouldn't a 5500-word story be as tightly constructed as a drabble? Why shouldn't each word in a novel be as carefully weighted as a word in a precis?

I totally get this. I still have trouble with longer stories and out of the 275+ pieces on my site, only six are longer than 5000 words. It's like the difficulty increases exponentially with the wordcount. Well, maybe not exponentially. Geometrically? (*is not a math geek*)

But finish! You've got this far with it, you must finish. I don't think there's anything wrong with a lot of editing; frankly, we don't spend enough time polishing fanfiction.

I like your list, too. Good points. :)

my belated apologies

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

..."It's like the difficulty increases exponentially with the wordcount. Well, maybe not exponentially. Geometrically? (*is not a math geek*)..."

The math geek I live with informs me that the two increases can, if the sequence is confined to the domain of integers, be considered synonymous.

Anyway, sorry for the belated reply -- I promised myself no LiveJournalling until I finished my writing, and now that I have done so, I have a lot of catchup to do!

And thank you for the encouragement.