mai wank let me show u it

[campylobacter]

• Mon, 16:28: Having grown up in the US Deep South, I heard the racially offensive term "n*****-rigged" all the time and assumed that… http://j.mp/krTlTH
• Mon, 16:52: The feedback to penis poetry is just as funny as the poem. http://j.mp/iIq77Q
• Mon, 18:04: RT @BrianJacobSmith: almost SGU time folks! I've said it before - tonights epi is one of our strongest efforts to give you smart, ground ...
• Mon, 18:11: DAMMIT. Finally decided to read Sam/Jack #Stargate porn, and the very 1st sentence: "What did I say about no giggling, Sammie?" #FML #OOC
• Mon, 18:12: Gonna write some Daniel/Cam or Daniel/Vala smut now. #Stargate
• Mon, 18:54: OMG Freakin kittens! I was trying to write some Gen fic, but then it turned into Daniel/Vala hurt comfort, so I gave up… http://j.mp/iJwUVE
• Mon, 19:00: Y U NO LINK? :( I am awed at your 4-digits for Hawaii Five-0. Win! :D http://j.mp/lVzB58
• Mon, 20:14: Look at Weir bein' all fierce without a firearm! SUCK IT HATERS http://j.mp/mT0x4L
• Mon, 20:27: UNF. She Elizabeth does "beautiful & powerful" without breaking a sweat. http://j.mp/k0DgpJ
• Mon, 21:51: LOL Vala wouldn't let Jacek within 10 parsecs of her children. And Daniel probably keeps his Berretta in the house just in case... http://j.mp/kzjeTr

• Mon, 21:58: RT @martingero: REALLY, Canada?! Really? This is what you want? Why?
• Mon, 22:01: RT @JennieCee: Fuck you #Stephenharper. Fuck you for making me cry. This better just be a Conservative Majority nightmare I am having.
• Mon, 22:01: RT @JennieCee: Only explanation = #StephenHarper's wig gives him magical powers ... which he uses for evil
• Mon, 22:04: RT @Brock_Ellis: Remember when Bush won a second term and all the liberal Americans wanted to move to Canada? #StephenHarper
• Mon, 22:16: RT @dhewlett: Sounds like more Canadians were tweeting election results than actually voting...time to invade?
• Mon, 22:33: RT @BreakingNews: Twitter has acquired TweetDeck for $40 million to $50 million - TechCrunch http://tcrn.ch/mfQD0r
• Mon, 22:55: WTF? Did Twitter unfollow me from @wilw?
• Mon, 23:59: RT @SpaceMonkeyLOL: @amandatapping is there any chance of seeing some more sg1 alumni on sanctuary soon? Cliff Simon would be awesome!
• Tue, 00:16: Knowing the exact etymologies now makes it more likely that if I ever use the terms, it would be in historical fiction … http://j.mp/iySY0g
• Tue, 00:20: Daniel, Y SO DREAMY? http://j.mp/kyiN50

• Tue, 08:10: #Stargate #4chan http://tumblr.com/xxs2dd5kgf Daniel Jackson is dead! ZOMG
• Tue, 08:15: #Stargate http://tumblr.com/xxs2dd79el JACK: No. Daniel Yes. JACK: No. Daniel Yes.
• Tue, 09:18: > I took his pants, remember... Oh, Daniel remembers! He was there. > And I don't want you taking Mitchell's … http://j.mp/mc7z3E
• Tue, 09:49: #Stargate http://tumblr.com/xxs2de6vou I haven't been this disappointed since Daniel & I had sex
• Tue, 10:24: Porn is bad, mmkay? http://j.mp/lN6Tdk
• Tue, 10:37: RT @danielvalalj: FANFIC "Sans Pants" rated PG-13 by @spacegypsy1 #Stargate #DanielJackson #ValaMalDoran http://daniel-vala.livejournal. ...
• Tue, 10:43: Re: yea for Cam sans pants pics http://j.mp/ioktJW
• Tue, 10:52: NOT AGAIN! What happened 2 the Sherman Antitrust Act? Last thing we need is "Ma Bell" controlling the telecom market http://freepr.es/laB01S
• Tue, 10:58: Justice Department to Extend Review of T-Mobile Bid by #AT&T http://t.co/ds6CJON via @BloombergNow #capitalism #greed
• Tue, 11:02: New pricing for AT&T high-speed Internet broadband service went into effect 2 May 2011 http://t.co/5JbRos8 #netNeutrality #fucked #toldYouSo

• Tue, 11:11: mai wank let me show u it http://pics.livejournal.com/campylobacter/pic/001cdshh http://sg1-solutions.livejournal.com/307512.html
• Tue, 11:18: Internet pornography is a bomb that will destroy your life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0DUd0WkXXc #ROTFL
• Tue, 12:00: @TeeFury Stop spamming Wil Wheaton. #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam
• Tue, 12:01: @TeeFury Stop spamming Wil Wheaton. #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #dorks
• Tue, 12:01: @TeeFury Stop spamming Wil Wheaton. #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #spam #derp

Comments

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

"What did I say about no giggling, Sammie?"

nooooo

nnnnnooooooooooo

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

I honestly couldn't make it past the 2nd sentence. I just couldn't picture either Sam or Jack after the opening line.

D:

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

I hope you did not give up and moved on to more legitimate literature.

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

I know that somewhere, out there, a romantic, mature Sam/Jack love story with well-written sex awaits my reading pleasure. It's just that most of my F-List are Daniel/Vala and Jack/Daniel readers who've never read such a story.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

Well, let's see if I can't just help you out a bit. What are you in the mood for?

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

NC-17 or R. Any season.

Just as long as Sam's not an emo idiot or a giggling schoolgirl, and Jack's not a creepy old bastard.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

lmfao

hmmmm. Are you feeling more blatant angst or pleasant slice of life right now?

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

I can handle angst --how else can a writer approach Sam/Jack without the obvious military career obstacle? It's more believable that way.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

lol man, this is hard; I want to pick the best of the best for you over here. You've already been scared off once today.

http://surreallis-fic.livejournal.com/51661.html - the 5th one sort of makes me frownyface because I haaaate the Jack is jealous of Cam trope so much, but the other four are really worth reading. 2nd one is porny. oscillates between angsty and not.

http://nextnonsequitur.livejournal.com/3883.html - post Atlantis

http://annerbhp.livejournal.com/167645.html and http://annerbhp.livejournal.com/169096.html - these are the angst-heaviest and the porniest.

http://mrspollifax.livejournal.com/56408.html - Universe-era, probably not quite as porny as you're looking for but I really like it. and not angst.

Hopefully these are some good starters. I'm wracking my brain trying to remember all the good stuff I've encountered so far because of course my brain has suddenly shut down.

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU.

These have gotta be better than the ones I read where Sam writes boring, stupid diary entires about her unrequited LUV, or Jack acts like Dumb!Jack, or Janet is relegated to Love Advice Doctor, or Daniel is a woobie whiner, or Hammond is a mean bastard.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

jesus god. Yeah, I've never read anything like that outside of fuckyeahbratwurst and the bad fic I've been linked to on party nights. I was lucky and had people pointing me to the good stuff right away.

And if you end up in the mood for something lighter, this one is about skinny dipping!

Also, totally biased because she's my broski, but missparker's Plan C series is a total roller coaster, and I really like the way she writes Jack and Daniel. Which is hilarious because she hates Daniel, and yet she's just SO GOOD AT HIM. Oh, and it's also not porny. Yet(?)

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

LOL I'm gonna be busy reading, so THANK YOU again. :D

And even if an author hates a character, they can still respect them enough to write them well. That's how villains such as Ba'al become interesting.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

Glad I could help! You keep me posted on how these make you feel.

Right! She definitely wants to beat Daniel's ass at all times ever, but it's not like she's going to sit there and deny his importance to, you know, everyone, or deny the importance of his friendships with Sam and Jack. teamfamily teamfamily teamfamily.

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

0.0

I have so much to say about annerbhp 's story Compliance (http://annerbhp.livejournal.com/167645.html) that it deserves its own review in an LJ entry.

LOL Believe me, a LOT of Daniel/Vala 'shippers wanna kick Daniel's ass for his occasional obtuseness and grumpy-pants-ness. That's why there's an entire subgenre across all pairings devoted to Whumping Daniel.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

Wow. Well, I hope you have good things to say about it...?

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. It's so well-written that it's making me draw comparisons to well-written Jack/Daniel, and how skilled authors nail Jack regardless of pairing. It's NOT about *similar* relationship dynamics between S/J & J/D, but how they differ that make them so authentic.

I'm not making sense right now! Had a beastly day at work, but I plan to post about it tomorrow.

[gingasaur.livejournal.com]

No, that makes perfect sense! And yep, that's why I linked you to that one. :) Pretty much anything by Annerb is going to be a safe bet for great writing.

[spiletta42.livejournal.com]

I have utterly failed to write a Sam/Jack sex scene, ever, and I've written the pairing quite a bit. Sorry!

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

OMG don't apologize!

I've learned from frequenting weepingcock that writing a creative, non-clichéd sex scene is rare skill.

[milanthruil.livejournal.com]

The closest I've gotten to Jack/Sam sex is that little snuggle ficlet I wrote.

Of course, it was only my 4th SG-1 fic ever, so there's still plenty of opportunities. ;)

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

That was a cute ficlet!

There's probably gonna be a Porn Battle 12 in July, so keep some pornbunnies hopping in the back of your head.

I wanna write 1 pornlet for as many pairings as I can this year. :D (http://battle.oxoniensis.org/) ()