STARGATE REVOLUTION: Why aliens speak English

[campylobacter]

This is what we know about the next SG-1 movie from GateWorld:





1. [The third Stargate movie] is an O'Neill story. [Brad Wright, 12 May 2008]
2. MGM can't afford Claudia Black [Brad Wright, 2 January 2009]

"I thought Claudia was terrific in Continuum, but Vala won’t be returning in the third movie."

3. MGM can afford Ben Browder & Beau Bridges [Brad Wright, 12 May 2008].

"I think these guys had a good time making Continuum. Is it likely we'll ever get them all again? That's kind of unlikely just because of the math. But our core folks -- I will move heaven and earth to get them if I can. [....] I think Jack and Daniel and Carter and Teal'c -- and Mitchell now, to a certain extent, and Landry now, to a certain extent -- are part of the fabric of SG-1. Fans will get mad at me if I don't put them in."

4. The working title of the next Stargate movie is Stargate: Revolution. [Mallozzi, 11 November 2009]

5. Its timeline is set after Continuum & before the SGU pilot. [Robert Cooper, August 2009]

Should the two DVD films be made, they would follow previous entries in having independent storylines that would not affect the upcoming Syfy original series SGU. "They would stand alone," Cooper said. "The Atlantis one takes place shortly after the end of season five. The SG-1, I think, takes place sometime in an intermediary period between when the SG-1 movies left off and when Universe began."
 

6. It's about Stargates serving as universal translators. [Joseph Mallozzi, 17 April 2010]:

Vojtech Gabriel asks: "About SG1 movie it looks like it will not be filmed... can you tell us if you created new aliens for SG-1 or it is a story of the old one?"
Mallozzi: Let’s just say the story stems from an issue that has plagued Stargate Command since its inception.

Seriously, how can it NOT be about language? The issues that immediately jump to my mind, in this order:

A. Why the #%*& do aliens speak English? In Stargate (the Emmerich movie), Daniel Jackson had an important role as linguist/archaeologist/interpreter. In the series, he served as Exposition Boy and Damsel in Distress. Language is a BIG FREAKIN' ISSUE.

B. Or maybe it's about why the kawoosh sometimes forms on one side of a Stargate, or both sides, depending on the needs of the plot? Could it have something to do with wormholes allowing travel one way? Do rings operate on the same principle? But rings are 2-way travel... OMG ::headdesk::

C. Or why does a 3rd zat blast disintegrate its target? LOLOLOL

D. Or if the Goa'uld are "asexual" (WTF? This makes no sense; don't they mean gynogenetic?) can a Goa'uld in a male host (Unas or human) breed?

E. Or maybe Egypt wants the Stargate back, per the "artifacts should remain in their land of origin" principle, or start fighting over it against Russia? [ETA: Yeah, I know the Giza 'Gate is long gone, but wouldn't the Egyptian gov't be pissed?]

F. Or... who has the DHD to the Giza 'Gate? Because that would be quite epic if a Bad Guy showed up with it. Just sayin'.


G. I just thought of another one: if the addresses are based on constellations, which differ depending on the vantage point whence they're viewed, why do most all the 'Gates across the galaxy have the same symbols? And how could you really have a directory (as seen in "Children of the Gods") without a cipher for each 'Gate? Planetary locations are relative, not absolute, in an expanding universe of orbiting, rotating bodies.

Any of you 'Gate geeks are welcome to run with these plotbunnies for fanfic.


Comments

[cleothemuse.livejournal.com]

I've given up on another movie, sadly, and gave up on the Boyz at Bridge ages ago. Anything new and good that comes out of Stargate now will be from the fans, like fanfic and the Big Finish dramas. (The Fandemonium books, however, have been largely garbage.)

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

I'd be a tragic mess if it weren't for fanfic. I bought "Hydra" last year and still haven't cracked it open.

I bought "Roswell" several months ago and am stalled in Chapter 2. I think the whole children + violence in the 1st chapter kinda deflated my enthusiasm for the tempting prospect of Jack & Vala working together.

[cleothemuse.livejournal.com]

Er, well, they really don't. In fact, Vala and Cam quickly become separate from the rest of the team so it's mostly a "classic" team story any way. Like a few of the other Fandy books, there are some canonical and historical errors in it, and a few moments of just mind-boggling WTFery.

(And no one even makes mention of what the date "July 8th" means in the Stargate-verse? For shame!)

I still haven't bought Hydra... not sure it's worth spending money on, really.

[campylobacter.livejournal.com]

::puts both books up for sale on Amazon Marketplace::