Lifted, Dreamless 2/4

artwork by magnavox_23

AUTHOR: campylobacter
CHALLENGE THEME: Daniel/Vala 2011 Month of Love
CHARACTERS: Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
CATEGORY: Missing scene; pre-ship
RATING: PG-13/Teen (dub-con nudity)
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 10x02 "Morpheus"; 8x12 "Prometheus Unbound"
DISCLAIMER: This is Stargate SG-1 fanfic. (Sue me, Brad! Use the money to make the next Stargate movie!)
WORD COUNT: 2672 (Chapter 1)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I used the UK spell-check dictionary and punctuation for Vala's point of view instead of my native US defaults.
MISSING SCENE: Video surveillance of Daniel undressing Vala

Prologue: Immediately Susceptible( Read more... )

Current Mood: rushed
Current Location: Cheyenne Mountain, CO
Current Music: Adam Ant: "Strip"

Lifted, Dreamless 1/4

artwork by magnavox_23

AUTHOR: campylobacter
CHALLENGE THEME: Daniel/Vala 2011 Month of Love
CHARACTERS: Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
CATEGORY: Missing scene; pre-ship
RATING: PG/Older Kids (mild gun violence)
SPOILERS/TIMELINE: 8x12 "Prometheus Unbound"
DISCLAIMER: This is Stargate SG-1 fanfic. (MGM's too bankrupt to sue me.)
WORD COUNT: 480 (prologue)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I used the UK spell-check dictionary and punctuation for Vala's point of view instead of my native US defaults.
MISSING SCENE: Vala's point of view while Daniel was unconscious( Read more... )

Current Mood: working
Current Location: Prometheus
Current Music: Peter Gabriel: "Shock the Monkey"

I. CAN'T. EVEN.

I am too excited by DADT's repeal to write any fanfic that's not about Jack/Daniel or Daniel/Cam or Sam/Janet or Sam/Vala or John/Rodney celebrating. But I have a Daniel/Vala Gift Exchange due Monday, so AUGH.

I feel the same way today as I felt when the Cold War ended, when apartheid was abolished in South Africa, and when the Berlin Wall came down.

Hello? Over 13,000 people were dishonorably discharged because of this utterly stupid 17-year policy.

OMG I AM EXCITE.

( Slash picspam behind cut. FUCK YEAH! )

Current Mood: excited
Current Location: Capitol Hill, Washington DC
Current Music: Jill Sobule: "Kissed Girl"

Bacon
by campylobacter
I was vandalizing misshapenmuse's Lover100 John/Teyla prompts...

"John, why are you awake at this hour?"

"I've been craving bacon."

Teyla tilted her head in query as John rummaged through the provisions in the cooler.

"It's, uh, let's see," John mused, "thin, fried strips of fatty, salt-cured meat. I don't suppose you had pigs on Athos? Fat, hairless, pink, short. Hooves, curly little tail...?"

"That does not sound appetizing enough to keep one awake."

"Believe me, once you've had a club sandwich, you'll know what I'm talking about."

[end]

YEAH THIS IS TEH QUALITEH COMMENT FIC, PEOPLE. QUALITEH.

I really need to finish my Daniel/Vala Exchange story. I don't even eat bacon more than a few times a year.

Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Primus: "Frizzle Fry"

The Hand Not Holding Beer

AUTHOR: campylobacter
PROMPT: "drunken karaoke" by dannysgirlsg1 at comment_fic
CHARACTERS: Vala Mal Doran, Daniel Jackson; (Teal'c, Cam, & Sam along for the Daniel/Vala Show)
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
CATEGORY: Romance, angst/fluff
RATING: PG-13/Teen (alcohol)
SPOILERS: actually, just brief references to 9x02 "Avalon 2", 9x06 "Beachhead", 10x08 "Memento Mori"
TIMELINE: post-Continuum
DISCLAIMER: This is Stargate SG-1 fanfic. Brad Wright is welcome sue me after he gets around to making the 3rd Stargate movie.
ARCHIVES:
WORD COUNT: 2433
AUTHOR'S NOTE: LJ comment fic's usually 4300 characters (700-800 words) long. Um, this one got out of control.
PREMISE: What song would Daniel sing on the karaoke machine at Siler's promotion party?

( Read the story... )

Current Mood: drunk
Current Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Current Music: Trio: "Da Da Da"

A Taste of Afternoon Sun (1/1)
by

campylobacter
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: Missing scene (prelude to The Ark of Truth); first time; food porn; comment fic for Pip from the prompt "Playing hooky"
PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
WORD COUNT: 867
PREMISE: Vala depletes her provisions during SG-1's first day on Dakara.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: First inspired by a beta-reading comment I made to hummingfly67 ("OMG you MUST have Daniel teach her what a peach is"), which she declined and passed back to me. Beta-read mostly by shakespherical.

( Read the story... )

Current Mood: hungry
Current Location: Dakara
Current Music: The Presidents of the USA: "Peaches"

TITLE: Daniel, Sideways
AUTHOR:

campylobacter
BETA_READER: shakespherical
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Cam/Vala (Daniel/Vala)
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
CATEGORY: "Memento Mori" missing scene
WORD COUNT: 346
PREMISE: Cam is helpless to prevent Vala from using her mouth to try to jog her memory.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Comment fic belatedly written for Porn Battle X. Prompts by

grammarwoman : "recognition, second-best".

( Read the porn... )

Current Mood: recumbent
Current Music: The Who: "Who Are You?"

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has advised should be viewed with discretion. )

Current Mood: embarrassed
Current Location: P77-427
Current Music: Garbage: "Push It"

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has marked as possibly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

Current Mood: pensive
Current Location: parallel timeline
Current Music: Blink 182: "I Miss You"

When

ivanolix mentioned in her LJ that:

"Porn Battle X is taking prompts until tomorrow. I was kind of overwhelmed reading all the comments so far[...]), and may have to add more later. Daniel/Vala fans, where are you? I feel self-conscious leaving prompts if I'm the only one."

I immediately went to the Porn Battle X entry and posted some prompts:

1st Set

Stargate SG-1, Daniel/Vala, pegging, surveillance, pay-per-view, toes

Stargate SG-1, Sha're/Vala, parallel, convergent

Stargate SG-1, Daniel/Sha're/Vala, inevitable, indulgent

Stargate SG-1, Sam/Vala, leather, crystals, father

Stargate SG-1, Sam/Janet/Vala, paradise, latex, braids

2nd set

Stargate SG-1, Daniel/Jack/Vala, commitment, waiting, Washington, Lucian, undercover

Crossover, Stargate SG-1/Stargate Atlantis, Daniel/Vala/Teyla, ZPM, Ark, Wraith

Crossover, Stargate SG-1/Stargate Universe, Vala/Chloe, Kino, stones

I also took the plunge and asked for an invite code of

laitaine , who graciously provided me one. And it took only 13 minutes for DW to import all my LJ entries since I started in 2003! Stoke-sies!

Had I known how EASY it is to cross-post entries (set your cross-posting prefs in your DW profile, and post from DW first) I'd've done this AGES ago. One word of warning: import your icons one-by-one into DW before running the import if you already have a couple uploaded here. Other than that, smooth sailing.

It also helps that since 2003, I've always been aware of which posts to F-lock and which ones to keep public, so I have no "legacy" privacy issues.

Anyone who's on the fence about opening a DreamWidth account should rest assured that it's incredibly easy and worth the effort to expand into another wonderful group of like-minded crazies. ;-)

Current Mood: dirty
Current Location: Avenue Q
Current Music: Avenue Q: "The Internet Is for Porn"

TITLE - Crucified Toad (5/5 Chapters)
AUTHOR -

campylobacter
EMAIL - campyspornshack at gmail d o t com
RATING - PG-13 (language)
GOSSAMER CATEGORY - T (Adventure)
SPOILERS - Little Green Men
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - 10-year-old Scully shows a 12-year-old boy her secret hideout. Who is he, and why is he so mysterious? I challenged myself to write Mulder & Sully meeting as kids, yet preserve future canon.
TIMELINE - set on Sunday, June 16, 1974; Father's Day
EPISODES - Space, Little Green Men, One Breath, Piper Maru, Christmas Carol
SEQUEL - The Pilot episode of The X-Files is the sequel.
DISCLAIMER - My cat eats lawyers.
FINISHED SIZE - 38k / 6397 words

( Read Chapter 5: Be Here Tomorrow )

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Three Dog Night: "Joy to the World"

TITLE - Crucified Toad (4/5 Chapters)
AUTHOR -

campylobacter
EMAIL - campyspornshack at gmail d o t com
RATING - PG-13 (language)
GOSSAMER CATEGORY - T (Adventure)
SPOILERS - Little Green Men
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - 10-year-old Scully shows a 12-year-old boy her secret hideout. Who is he, and why is he so mysterious? I challenged myself to write Mulder & Sully meeting as kids, yet preserve future canon.
TIMELINE - set on Sunday, June 16, 1974; Father's Day
EPISODES - Space, Little Green Men, One Breath, Piper Maru, Christmas Carol
SEQUEL - The Pilot episode of The X-Files is the sequel.
DISCLAIMER - My cat eats lawyers.
FINISHED SIZE - 38k / 6397 words

( Read 4: By Unwelcome Degrees )

Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Bachman-Turner Overdrive: "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet"

TITLE - Crucified Toad (3/5 Chapters)
AUTHOR - campylobacter
EMAIL - campyspornshack at gmail d o t com
RATING - PG-13 (language)
GOSSAMER CATEGORY - T (Adventure)
SPOILERS - Little Green Men
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - 10-year-old Scully shows a 12-year-old boy her secret hideout. Who is he, and why is he so mysterious? I challenged myself to write Mulder & Sully meeting as kids, yet preserve future canon.
TIMELINE - set on Sunday, June 16, 1974; Father's Day
EPISODES - Space, Little Green Men, One Breath, Piper Maru, Christmas Carol
SEQUEL - The Pilot episode of The X-Files is the sequel.
DISCLAIMER - My cat eats lawyers.
FINISHED SIZE - 38k / 6397 words
( Read Chapter 3: A Big Coffin )

Current Mood: devious
Current Music: Atlanta Rhythm Section: "Spooky"

TITLE - Crucified Toad (2/5 Chapters)
AUTHOR -

campylobacter
EMAIL - campyspornshack at gmail d o t com
RATING - PG-13/Teens (language)
GOSSAMER CATEGORY - T (Adventure)
SPOILERS - Little Green Men
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - 10-year-old Scully shows a 12-year-old boy her secret hideout. Who is he, and why is he so mysterious? I challenged myself to write Mulder & Sully meeting as kids, yet preserve future canon.
STORY TIMELINE - Sunday, June 16, 1974, Father's Day
EPISODES - Space, Little Green Men, One Breath, Piper Maru, Christmas Carol
SEQUEL -The Pilot episode of The X-Files is the sequel.
DISCLAIMER - My cat eats lawyers.
SIZE - 38k / 6397 words
( read Chapter 2: The Mention of her Name )

Current Mood: curious
Current Music: Elvis: "Little Sister"

TITLE - Crucified Toad (1/5 Chapters)
AUTHOR - campylobacter
EMAIL - campyspornshack at gmail d o t com
RATING - PG-13/Teens (language)
GOSSAMER CATEGORY - T (Adventure)
SPOILERS - Little Green Men
KEYWORDS - Pre-XF
SUMMARY - 10-year-old Scully shows a 12-year-old boy her secret hideout. Who is he, and why is he so mysterious? I challenged myself to write Mulder & Sully meeting as kids, yet preserve future canon.
STORY TIMELINE - Sunday, June 16, 1974, Father's Day
EPISODES - Space, Little Green Men, One Breath, Piper Maru, Christmas Carol
SEQUEL -The Pilot episode of The X-Files is the sequel.
DISCLAIMER - My cat eats lawyers.
SIZE - 38k / 6397 words
DEDICATION - To Xandria and her request for me to develop this idea
AUTHOR'S NOTE - "The whole idea behind the show was kids acting the way kids really act.... it's children who are all corrupt and you sort of learn to be a decent human being hopefully by the time you grow up." -- SOUTH PARK co-creator Trey Parker. Beta-read 6 years ago by the lovely and talented MaybeAmanda, who pointed out a kink in my timeline that I've only just finally resolved!

( Chapter 1: False Silence )

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Cat Stevens: "Oh Very Young"

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has marked as possibly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: U2: "With or Without You"

Title: Misplaced Modifiers and Invisible Dildos

Authors:

campylobacter and

dvfan

Rating: Adult / NC-17

Pairings: Jack/Sam, Jack Daniel, Sam/Daniel, Jack/Sam/Daniel, Sam/Teal'c, Sam/Daniel/Jack/Teal'c

Warnings: graphic if hilarious sex, group sex, het sex, slash, foul language, misplaced modifiers, excessive use of euphemisms, blatant overuse of clichés, oh and it may squick

Disclaimer: Seriously, we won’t be profiting from this and the (out-of-)characters are public domain anyway, because they in no way shape or form resemble the ones MGM owns.

Authors’ Notes: This piece of badfic was inspired by some truly amusing unintentionally bad fic that

dvfan "discovered" and shared with me. We began this collaboration for our own amusement and then thought it was bad enough to share at

crackified_gate .

Be warned; you will need brain bleach before you finish reading the damned thing.

Current Mood: embarrassed
Current Music: Murray Head: "One Night in Bangkok"

I co-authored (actually, contributed the vaguely pornographic second part) to WorX in Progress by

cleothemuse for the

daniel_vala content challenge "Springtime Is for Lovers".

TITLE: WorX in Progress
RATING: R / Adult
GENRE: Het (Daniel/Vala), Established Relationship, Humor, Romance
WARNINGS: Adult Content
SYNOPSIS: Sequel to "Rated 'X' for 'X-Tremely Bad'". Vala's first fanfiction story went well, thanks to Daniel's help, so she's back for more! Only this time, her next masterpiece requires a little hands-on research.
Notes: Co-written with

cleothemuse. Warning: you may never look at your beta reader the same way again. Just sayin'.

Read the Porn With(out?) Plot

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: The Faders: "No Sleep Tonight"

TITLE: "Drawn Home"
AUTHOR: campylobacter
BETA-READER: hummingfly67 has a sharp eye for punctuation and suggests ways to fix my stoopid moments.
CANON BETA: dvfan catches my in-universe goofs and doesn't let me get away with lack of clarity.

CATEGORY/PAIRING: Daniel/Vala
RATING: PG-13 / Teen
DATE STARTED: 3 February 2010

STATUS: complete
SEASON/SPOILERS/TIMELINE: post-Stargate Continuum, post-Stargate Atlantis "Enemy at the Gate"; written before Stargate: Revolution and Stargate: Extinction, so it's future AU
ARCHIVED: Drawn Home on FanFiction.net
GENRE: vignette; humor; romance: het, fluff, established relationship
WARNING: babyporn ;-) (Srsly. I'm coining the term.)

SERIES: Maybe; could be an epilogue to the prison!fic I'm writing.
WORD COUNT: 892

DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 & Stargate Atlantis characters belong to MGM. Infringement upon good taste is purely intentional.

SUMMARY/SYNOPSIS/PREMISE: Vala summons Daniel with urgent news.

. . .

( Read the story. )

Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: Joel Goldsmith: "Stargate Atlantis Theme"

I dunno why I'm so stoked that a site that accepts self-submissions makes me excited that I'm archived on it, but finally:

"We have accepted the story you submitted to All Daniel Fic. Thank you!"

Yay! Two of my drabbles had been rejected, so having "Bookends, or Six Ways 'Til Sunday" archived at AllDanielFic makes my day. :-)

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Lady Gaga: "Bad Romance"

campy's porn shack

Nude Skeletons: flesh optional

STARGATE FANFIC: Lifted, Dreamless 2/4 (rated PG-13/Teen)

Lifted, Dreamless 2/4

STARGATE FANFIC: "Lifted, Dreamless" 1/4 Rated PG/Older Kids

Lifted, Dreamless 1/4

PERSONAL: Buh-bye, DADT

STARGATE ATLANTIS FANFIC: Bacon (Rated G/All)

STARGATE FANFIC: "The Hand Not Holding Beer" 1/1 (Rated PG-13/Teens)

The Hand Not Holding Beer

STARGATE FANFIC: "A Taste of Afternoon Sun" 1/1 Rated PG-13

STARGATE FANFIC: "Daniel, Sideways" 1/1 Rated NC-17/Adult

STARGATE FANFIC: "Speak No English" 1/1 (NC-17/Mature)

STARGATE FANFIC & PICSPAM: "One Year Later" 1/1 Rated NC-17/Adult

Porn lured me to Dreamwidth

X-FILES FANFIC: Crucified Toad (PG-13/Teen) 5/5

X-FILES FANFIC: Crucified Toad (PG-13/Teen) 4/5

X-FILES FANFIC: Crucified Toad (PG-13/Teen) 3/5

X-FILES FANFIC: Crucified Toad (PG-13/Teen) 2/5

X-FILES FANFIC: Crucified Toad (PG-13/Teen) 1/5

STARGATE FANFIC: Revolution 2: Perfect Working Order (2/2)

STARGATE BADFIC: Misplaced Modifiers and Invisible Dildos 1/1 NC-17

STARGATE FANFIC: WorX in Progress 1/1

STARGATE FANFIC: Drawn Home 1/1 (Daniel/Vala)

FANFIC: I've Been Archived!

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